The Safe House - Wiretaps

Sydney: You know any jokes? Cause I could use one.
Vaughn: This grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you." And the grasshopper says...
Sydney: You have a drink named Doug?
Vaughn: Well I was going to use 'Phil.'
Sydney (big smile): 'Phil' is certainly no funnier than 'Doug.'
Vaughn (big smile): Well, I'm sorry. It's a non-humorous joke.

Jack: I thought it was my responsibility to teach you how to think strategically, to see through people's lies, to be as strong as you could be in an environment where one mistake could cost you your life.
Sydney: Then you should've told me the truth before I ended up here.

Will: Oh, I got my, uh, thirty days sobriety chip. Even though I wasn't ever a drug addict, I'm kind of proud.

Will: Yeah, well, it's either that or I quit paying my student loans. I can't afford to have bad credit and a criminal record.

Jack: I spent a decade with this woman and another twenty years analyzing how she could have deceived me for so long. Trust me when I tell you, I am protecting you.
Sydney: No, you're not. I think you loved Mom so much that when she left you, you lost your soul. You know what else I think? I think the kind of man who'd use his own daughter to frame her mother, who'd test psych experiments when she was six-years-old is the kind of man who looks at his daughter and sees his greatest mistake.

Vaughn: Look, I know this will drive you insane, but we can't employ you because you have a criminal record.
Will: I have a criminal record because of a drug habit I never had.

Sloane: Sodium morphate is the poison I used to... end Emily's suffering.

Jack (about Sydney): When I look at her, when I look at the little girl who raised herself to become one of the most extraordinary human beings and one of the finest agents I've ever had the privilege of knowing, I see only the promise of my own redemption. Turning myself in was the only way I could think of to make that clear to her, to prove that despite my limited abilities as a father, I love her more than I could ever say.

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