Go to part 1.
Charlie: Do you like it?
Kevin: Yeah, it's great. I'm so glad you
finally decided to do it.
Charlie: I don't know. I just woke up today
and it just felt like home.
I'm gonna do
all three walls.
Kevin: You know, I think it's time
to take a break. (grabs her)
Charlie: Oh, wait!
Wait a minute.
Kevin: Whoo, whoo, whoo!
Charlie: I can't let it dry
too much.
Charlie (on phone): Charlie and Kevin's house.
Viola (on phone): Oh, I forgot you live there.
I, I didn't realize that you
had already moved in.
Charlie: Kevin, stop it. I'm on the phone
with your mother! (on phone) I'm sorry, Viola.
Viola: The slut's practically
fornicating with him!
Ruby: I don't blame her.
That boy's a fine piece of ass.
Charlie (on phone): Hold on, Viola.
He's... stop it! Right here.
Viola (on phone): Actually, Charlie,
the reason I'm calling
is I wondered if you'd
like to have lunch next week.
Charlie (on phone): Really?
Viola (on phone): How would Tuesday work for you?
Charlie (on phone): Yeah,
Tuesday's perfect!
Listen, Viola, I'm kind of in the middle
of something right now,
um, but, but Tuesday's fine.
Viola (on phone): Yeah, me too.
Lots to do!
Charlie (on phone): Okay, bye!
Ruby: I'll go get the vodka.
Kevin: She's had
an anxiety attack,
which can feel like
a heart attack.
She's gonna be okay.
But she definitely needs
to take it easy. No stress.
She said that you were
yelling at her,
that you refused her gift
and said she couldn't plan our wedding.
Tell me that's
not true.
Charlie: Well, technically...
yes.
But, hold on.
I didn't yell at her.
And she just kept pushing
and pushing and pushing.
And, okay, I admit it.
I snapped -- a little bit. But... I mean...
What was I supposed to do?
She wouldn't take no for an answer.
Kevin: Come on, look, you know
what a hard time she's been having.
So she's a little difficult.
Charlie: Difficult?
A two-year-old
is difficult.
She's like... ah!
Kevin: Come on, I'm all... she's all alone.
I'm all she's got...
we're all she's got.
Come on.
Chamberlain: Excuse me.
I'm Dr. Chamberlain,
the psychiatrist in residence.
You Mrs Fields' son?
Kevin: Yes.
Chamberlain: May we speak in private?
Kevin: Actually, this is my fiancée.
We can talk.
Um, is she okay?
Chamberlain: Well, I just completed your mother's
interview and I'm concerned.
It's possible that she's on the verge
of a psychotic break.
I should probably see her
at least twice a week, minimum.
Also, I prescribed her
some anti-anxiety medication.
If she starts to feel
overwhelmed, they'll relax her.
Does she live alone?
Kevin: Uh, yeah.
Chamberlain: Well, I feel
it would be best
if she were cared for
by relatives...
people that are closest
to her during this time.
Just until we're confident
that she's out of danger.
Kevin: Alright.
Well, thank you, Doctor.
(to Charlie) Oh, God.
I've got that
medical conference.
What am I gonna do?
Charlie: You know what?
Don't... don't worry about it.
Um, I'll take care of her.
Kevin: Thank you.
Come on.
Charlie: What?
Kevin: No, come with me.
Charlie: No, no, the doctor said no stress.
Kevin: Charlie, Charlie, come on. Enough already.
Charlie: Kevin, come on.
Viola: I am so sorry.
Kevin: No, Mom, don't be.
It's okay, really.
Charlie?
Charlie: I'm sorry too, Viola.
Viola: No, I was too pushy.
Charlie: No.
You weren't.
Look, Viola...
I would love it if you would
help me with the wedding.
Viola: It's alright,
sweetheart, I...
I don't really think
I'm up to it.
My nerves are shot.
Kevin: Mom...
Mom, Charlie and I think
you should live with us for a while,
until you feel better.
Viola: Are you sure?
Oh!
Oh, I can't possibly.
I couldn't.
Kevin: Mom, it's okay. Relax.
Viola: I couldn't possibly.
Not unless I know
Charlotte's forgiven me.
Will you?
Charlie: Me?
Yeah, I forgive you.
Charlie: You just put those... anywhere. Hi!
Viola: Hi.
Charlie: Are you feeling better?
Viola: I'm much better, thank you.
Charlie: Great.
Viola: Sweetheart, I'm kind of thirsty.
Would you... is the kitchen over there?
Kevin: Yeah, sure.
Viola: Great. Goodbye.
Charlie: Okay.
Charlie: When will you be back?
Kevin: Soon as I can, honey.
I promise.
Are you sure
you're gonna be okay?
Charlie: Yeah. I mean, hey,
it's only at night, right?
And, I mean, she's gonna
sleep most of the time
with those pills
the doctor gave her. Right?
Kevin: Look, I know my mom can be
a little challenging.
So if you have any
problems just call me.
I'm on the first flight back,
I promise.
Charlie: Okay.
Well, hurry home.
Kevin: And who knows?
By the time I get back,
maybe you two
will be best friends.
Viola (entering room): Oh, am I interrupting
something?
Kevin: Uh, no, Mom, come in.
Viola: The caterer called.
He still thinks
I'm doing the wedding.
He sent over a sample plate
'cause I gave him the colors you wanted.
I said absolutely no peach.
And from now on, everything
goes through my new daughter.
Charlie: Thank you.
Kevin (on phone): Yeah?
Okay, I'll be
right down, thanks.
Viola: Oh, here. Look.
Charlie: Oh, it's beautiful, Viola.
Thank you.
Viola: Oh, I'm glad you like it.
Charlie: Thanks.
Kevin: My car's here. Gotta go.
Bye, Mom. Bye, Mom.
Viola: Oh, bye, sweetie.
Oh, it's gonna be fun.
Charlie: Okay.
Viola: We're gonna have such a good time.
I'll be a good roommate. I promise.
Charlie: Okay.
Viola: It's so nice
to have a girlfriend.
Kevin (on phone): Oh God. I, I'm sorry.
You know what?
That's, that's probably my fault.
I mean,
I never thought she'd...
I mean, she's a little
eccentric, you know?
I'm sorry.
Charlie (on phone): Well, it doesn't matter.
I don't want to talk about your mom
tonight. I want to talk about us.
I miss you.
Kevin (on phone): I miss you, too.
Charlie (on phone): Especially now
when I'm in the tub...
naked and wet...
and naked.
Kevin (on phone): Really?
Well, do you know what I would do
to you if I was there?
Charlie (on phone): What?
Kevin (on phone): Well, for starters...
Viola (entering room): Charlie!
I'm not looking. I'm not looking.
Kevin (on phone): Hello?
Viola: I just wanted to return your shampoo.
Charlie (on phone): Your mom just walked in.
Viola: You really should use a shampoo
that doesn't dry your hair so much.
We don't want a bride
with straw under her veil.
Oh, is that Kevin?
Charlie: Yeah, it is.
(on phone) Oh honey, your mom wants to talk to you.
Viola (on phone): Sweetie, hi.
Kevin (on phone): Hi, Mom.
Viola (on phone): Oh, honey, I can't thank you both enough.
Kevin (on phone): Of course.
Viola (on phone): I'm having the most wonderful time.
Kevin (on phone): How's Charlie?
Viola (on phone): Oh, she's been a doll.
We've been girlfriends
all week.
Kevin (on phone): Great.
Viola (on phone): I'm gonna be sad to go home.
You do? Well, you never know
what the future's gonna bring, right?
I mean, I do love
this neighborhood.
In fact, you know,
two doors down,
there's this house
for sale.
It's got two
big bay windows
and a great rose garden.
You know how
I love rose gardens.
And, you know, basically,
it's got my name all over it.
I'm having my...
my... um...
real estate guy
look into it.
Viola: Uh, there's a reservation
under Fields, Kevin.
Waitress: Yes, right this way.
Kevin: I'm so glad my mom and you
had a great week.
Charlie: We did. I learned
a lot about her.
Kevin: So who's
the mystery guest?
Charlie: Oh, surprise!
Viola: I thought your office
said we were having lunch alone.
Charlie: Well, I hope you guys
forgive me. I just...
I wanted to talk
to you and Kevin together.
Kevin: So how are you, Mom?
Viola: Fine. Fine.
Though I did have
a rather difficult night.
Charlie: Ooh, it was probably
that martini you had.
Kevin: Mom, you're not supposed
to drink alcohol
with those pills
you're taking.
Charlie: You know, the truth is
I owe you an apology.
You know, I was so insensitive
to your feelings
about wanting to help
with the wedding.
Viola: Oh, it's ancient history.
A young bride doesn't want to hear
the opinions of an old widow.
Charlie: No, no,
that is not true.
I mean, you're going
to be my mom soon.
And a grandma shortly
after, hopefully.
And I want you to know
that I will do anything it takes
to make this
relationship work.
That said...
will you be my maid...
I mean, my matron
of honor?
Kevin: Charlie, that's...
that's amazing.
Mom, what do you say?
Viola: But, uh...
Morgan is gonna be
your maid of honor.
Charlie: Oh, no, she has graciously
relinquished her title to you.
And I had this
specially made up.
A dress in your
favorite color... peach.
Come on, open it.
Viola: Well, that's...
Char... ah.
I, I don't think I can.
Kevin: Mom, I think
it's a great idea.
Viola: No, I just don't think
I'm up to it.
I really don't. I've got
to talk to my doctor.
Charlie: Oh, I called him.
Yeah!
And he said he thought
it was a great idea.
Kevin: Mom... no, Mom.
Mom, don't cry. (hands her tissue)
Here. (Charlie starts crying)
Charlie.
Charlie: I didn't think
I would be this emotional.
Kevin: Mom, here.
Can I? (takes tissue from Viola)
Oh, oh!
Charlie: Oh, thank you, baby.
I love you.
Kevin: I love you, too.
Viola: I love you, too!
Kevin: I love you, too, Mom.
Charlie: Kevin, you know what? Why don't you
give your mom and I a moment alone?
Kevin: Yes, of course.
Kevin: Hey, are you
and my mom okay?
Charlie: Great. Yeah, I just have a little
of the pre-wedding nerves,
but everything is
under control.
Kevin: Of course.
Kevin: Alright, I'm gonna go get a drink.
Charlie: Okay.
Charlie: Honey, would you see
who's at the door?
Kevin: Sure. Look who's here.
It's Dr. Chamberlain.
Charlie: Oh my God!
It's Dr. Chamberlain.
Hi! Everybody, it's Dr. Chamberlain!
Chamberlain: Hi. Good evening.
Kevin: Here's your chair, Doctor.
Charlie: Hi.
Kevin: Hi.
(doorbell rings)
Ruby: I'll get it.
Kevin: Are you expecting anyone else?
(Charlie shakes head)
Fiona: Hello, everybody!
Viola: Fiona!
I'm so glad to see you.
Fiona: I just couldn't resist
bringing the happy couple
a little gift.
Viola: That's great. I will
get you a place setting.
Kit: She's bringing a gift?
I think she is the gift.
Kevin: What the hell
is she doing here?
Kavin: No, I get it.
Charlie: No, baby, not now, okay? It's not the time.
Kevin: That's a lot of gravy.
Charlie: Mmm! This gravy's delicious!
Kevin: Baby, are you okay?
Charlie: Kevin, my tongue
feels weird.
Something's wrong!
Morgan: Charlie, are you okay? Are you alright?
Remy: Get her some water.
Chamberlain: Flat or sparkling?
Kevin: The caterer says he doesn't know how
this could have happened.
Charlie: Well, I feel like I ate
a loaf of nuts.
I mean, even my tongue
is swollen.
You're marrying
a big, fat, puffy tomato mouth.
Kevin: It's not that bad, really. Besides,
the swelling's already going down.
Charlie: Yeah?
Kevin: Yeah.
Kit (entering room): Hey, Kev. Just coming to check up
on the bride-to-be.
For the love of God...
Kevin: Out!
Charlie: You see?
I told you it looks terrible.
I told you.
Kevin: Baby, I promise you.
In 24 hours the swelling
will be completely gone.
Charlie: Give me that!
Kevin (greeting guests): Hey. Thanks for coming.
Kevin: Hey, what are you
doing here?
Don't you know it's
bad luck to see the...
Charlie, what's wrong?
What is it?
Are you nervous?
Hey.
Charlie: Kevin, I need...
Viola (entering room): Charlie,
I need to talk to you.
Charlie: Viola, stop it!
Viola: It's the flower girls.
They're drunk again.
Kevin: What?
Viola: Yeah, in the toilet.
Charlie: Not now, Viola, okay?
Viola: It's, it's really important.
Kevin: Just give us a minute.
She'll be right there.
Viola: Please?
Kevin: Charlie, what is it?
Charlie: I'll be right back.
Crowd: Go, Kevin and Charlie!
Remy: Yeah!
Kevin: Mom!
Do you really think I'd leave without
saying goodbye?
I love you, Mom.
Thanks for everything.
Viola: Go.
Charlie: Okay, everybody! Gather around
the back of the car!
Crowd: Charlie!
Charlie, right here!
Right here, Charlie! Charlie!
(Viola catches flowers)
Gertrude: Sheesh.
Charlie: Oh, Hawaii! I cannot wait!
Kevin: I know. I can't either.
Kit: Bye! Have fun in Hawaii!
Go to part 1.
Back to Wiretaps
|