In the third season of Alias, loyal fans of the show were treated to a surprise: the characters we loved were ripped apart, the storylines were 'simplified' in order to bring in new viewers, and it seemed like everything the loyal fans had come to love about the show had suddenly changed. Plotlines have become so convoluted that we can't be sure how, or if, any of our questions will ever be answered. Characters whom we've come to love, who were once integral to the plot, are now nothing more than stage props who are barely getting one line per episode if they're lucky. They've been placed on the backburner so we can sit through an endless stream of guest stars that come and go with no long-term purposes. We don't have enough storylines for the characters who were already in place, let alone any new characters! Not to mention new, permanently placed characters who add nothing to the show but fan frustration and characters and storyarcs that are just a slap in the face to anyone who has stuck with the show and had fun playing along.

We're supposed to go with the punches and accept the cheesy plotlines, lack of character development, a fiasco of a marriage, sudden romantic relationships that make no sense, and basic character annihilation of just about every character on the show. We can turn off our TV sets and just stop watching, sure. And many already have. But we're still hopeful; we still have faith that a show as good as it once was will come back with a vengeance and get back to the basics.

We don't really care why these changes have taken place. We just want our fun, well-written show back, the one we fell in love with, the one we aren't getting anymore. All the soap-opera cheesiness is starting to take its toll on the fans who helped to make the show as popular as it is and who are constantly told that the show is being revamped for 'new viewers.' We still love Alias, or at least what it used to be, and we still hope that things will turn around and we can start having fun again. In the meantime, we're taking out our frustration in a creative and fun way. This is our opportunity to tell the Alias community what we really think.

AtST: As the Stomach Turns, because one more soapy plot development and we may hurl
Browzilla: See "COW"
COW: Contrived Odious Wife; see "Browzilla"
DoOS: Days of Our Spies, the soap opera that is Season 3 of Alias
MGD: Melissa's Genuinely Daft
MOO: Mad Overboard-Accent Organization
RONG: Ring of Nefarious Gratuitousness, or Ring of No Good. You know which one we mean.
Swill: Sydney/Will relationship; very yucky and distasteful indeed, and slightly incestuous-seeming
TPTB: The Powers That Be, or, alternatively, The Producers, Those Bastards
Trianvil: What fans have been hit over the head with repeatedly this season
TTTAA: The Triangle That Ate Alias
UGLI: Unwanted Gratuitous Love Interest, a.k.a. anyone other than Sydney and Vaughn
VBR: Very Bad Robot, the malfunctioning production company responsible for "Alias"
VILE: Vaughn's Idiotically Lame Entanglement

Abramese: [n], A style of language that is both confusing and annoying; [adj.] a particularly putrid, smelly brand of bullshit; [v], saying one thing and doing another when creative inspiration runs low.

Just our basic thoughts, frustrations, and feelings about the show and characters. Please remember our disclaimer when reading these.

Thoughts from:

1. Souris, Vartan Ho #4
2. Mel TM, Vartan Ho #13
3. Kate, Vartan Ho #1
4. Spygirl, Vartan Ho #5
5. SB, Vartan Ho #2
6. Lugia, Vartan Ho #8

Multiple Hos:

1. Why RST Should Not Be Considered a Four-Letter Word
2. On Apathy, Characters and Storytelling Problems

Things others have said that we came across, especially agreed with and wanted to share further:

1. KarenML

Fun With Photoshop! 
Need to take out your frustration? Do it in an artistic way! Check out some of our very special tributes to the COW and to the show.

They Said It. We Snarked It 
The Hos play Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot (that's a Mystery Science Theater 3000 reference for those not familiar!) with the cast and crew of Alias.

Yeah, RIGHT! (Or, the Illogic of "Alias")   
Alias has always had its logic problems, but some of the ones this season have been laughable and/or downright insulting. Suspension of disbelief? There's not enough rope in the universe to make up for these instances of insane troll logic.

Caption This! 
Caption Contest! We give you a picture, and you tell us what's going on in the scene.
[ Archive ]

Missed Opportunities : (  
Imaginative ways we can find in each episode where the COW could have been killed, maimed or tortured.

Behind the Photoshoot  
Ever wonder what the actors were really thinking when some of those pics are taken? We've got the answer.