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Vitriol, Snark and Rants: The New VSR
...Season 3
Big Ole Disclaimer: This section is in good fun and not to be taken too literally. Just as we poke fun at the editors in the bloopers section, or at various people/entities in the Penalty Box, this section is meant to find fun from the storylines of the show and the words of the actors and TPTB. We enforce a strict policy toward actor-bashing, but some real-life comments these people make are funny enough, weird enough or sometimes rude enough to warrant some snarking. That also holds true for the things that show up onscreen. Our views on things are just that: OUR views. And our method of coping with things we don't like is just that: OUR method. We don't claim to speak for anyone else. If the Sword of Snarking isn't your thing, the Vartan Hos strongly suggest that you bail on this section and go someplace that is more pleasing to your senses. For instance, pictures of Michael Vartan. We hope that everyone else can get a giggle or two out of this section. We do not condone violence of any kind. We do not respond to flames. Flaming us will only result in our laughing at you. A lot.
- Enjoy! The Vartan Hos
On Apathy, Characters and Storytelling Problems
A Conversation Among the Hos
Kate:
I loved the storylines 1st and 2nd year because it was a part of Sydney, a part of who she was and a part of why we cared about her. And that affected all the people around her, making them interesting. Then TPTB determined that this was too complicated for us Mall People to understand.
This year, the storyline is floating around in so many places that it's not a matter of keeping up ... it's a matter of keeping interested. There has yet to be a single storyline (out of the whole throng of them) that's been interesting enough to affect the characters in a way that makes THEM interesting enough for *me* to enjoy the show. Where the characters were once the focus of the show now sits the storylines themselves ... which have taken over like an out-of-control blender, spewing a bunch of mixed up plot points all over the place without any one of them making sense.
That's what JJ has been preaching over and over: how interesting the characters are as a result of these "brilliant" storylines. He's wrong; they've taken over the show. They should change the show's title to The Mole 3: If you find the hidden plot that makes sense, and you make it through the season, you win a million dollars.
Honestly, I'm half expecting the CIA to order that everyone wears leather and lace to the office from now on, on order of the NSC of course. I just wouldn't put it past them for the ratings. It's like that news show in the UK where everyone strips naked.
Which is sad. I wish I could just tell JJ that it's okay to do a 180 in this case, even if it doesn't make sense, and go back to what they were doing. The entire season doesn't make sense, so I'd be willing to hold the suspension of belief in order to get our old show back. I wonder if he's now trying to inch his way back to that, now that he sees such a negative reaction?
Don't inch, man. Run.
Lugia:
The characters don't get any interesting stuff to do, so they're standing still. I'd still like that more than involving them in contrived stuff that degrades them, though, which is happening a lot this season, too. So I'm still more seeing it from a character perspective than storyline, even if that's what gives them the opportunity to shine and evolve.
Which is honestly what I don't get. JJ's always been so adamant about saying that this isn't about the spy stuff, but a story about a girl trying to find her identity and meaning in her life and her relationships along the way (especially with her father). That it was almost a coincidence that this happens to be taking place in the spy world (which just adds to the general mistrust). But there's nothing of that idea left! It's all about the spy world storylines now! And I don't care, because not only do they not make sense, they don't have a driving force behind them. They just "happen."
If a *character*-driven show loses its characters, well, what's left?
And as long as Lauren's around, I'll *never* be able to get that "Alias" feeling again. She's a constant reminder of everything that's going wrong this year. And I'm not sure I could just sling back either, never thinking of this *year* again. I even hold a two-ep No!Augh grudge! But it could at least be interesting and enjoyable again.
SB:
The only thing I really feel right now is apathy. I kind of feel like, okay, the show is different now and I liked it better before. Now I'm not as interested, so I'm definitely not going to be buying merchandise or anything. But it goes
beyond that. Spoilers don't arouse any emotion from me.
I certainly am not thinking in terms of, gee, how are these spoilers going to make the characters look? I don't care. We could discuss it 'til kingdom come, but my feeling is, why bother? I don't care.
All that being said, when/if I get the chance to watch Alias this second half of the season, I may well enjoy it. And then I'll turn off the TV and go back to my homework, something I was never able to do post-XF because I was always so wound up after the episodes. I've really just turned into a casual viewer.
And, I might not start watching until SATC wraps up.
Spygirl:
On the flip side of this 'apathy' -- because I really do believe this is an emotion shared by many -- is that producers and writers continue to make the same mistakes over and over and over and over. It's like Groundhog's Day. That movie was the most irritating movie I've ever seen. I hated it. I loathed it because enough was enough. We get it, okay? But for me, the repetitive nature of Groundhog's Day exemplifies the same principle -- just change the show.
We understand the reasons behind producers and writers making decisions to use creatively bankrupt plot developments -- but it doesn't make it any less lame or ridiculous. The idea isÊto keep the audience enthralled -- but it doesn't. It's suppose to be compelling -- but it's not. It's supposed to be everything great -- but never is. This is the very reason I stopped watching television years ago. I was tired of the redundant cycle of stupidity.
Time to watch television is not mandatory. It is our disposable or discretionary time. We need to create the space to do this because the Goddess knows -- each and every one of us have better things we could be doing instead. The fact is, if we -- the audience -- don't reinforce the idea to networks, creators, and producers that we're beyond exhausted of the same old redundant plot lines and devices, nothing will ever change. And in truth, even when we speak out -- there's no guarantee Hollyweird will "get it." Sometimes, it's just easier to watch movies and give up the whole television gig.
Souris:
Word about Groundhog Day and producers doing the same shit over & over again. I can't STAND going back over the same ground that I've already gone over before. It's not interesting, it's not compelling. It's cheap, and it's lazy writing. And it's so typical of TV. If something works once, they hit it and hit it and hit it and hit it until it becomes a caricature of the original. It's like genetic drift in cloning. It just gets more and more watered down.
This happens to characters ALL the time. For instance, I think every Friend has become a caricature by now -- they fixate on one or two particular traits and overuse them and make them bigger and bigger. It's easy to fall back on that "comfort" aspect, but there's no real challenge or talent in it. I think "Alias" has fallen into that trap in terms of "stunt" plotting and style over substance. The show was praised for its twists and its style, but now it seems as if that's all there IS anymore, that seeing what wacky, convoluted, "shocking" ideas they can come up with -- logic and characterization be damned -- is all they care about.
It's absolutely baffling to me that J.J. and Alias have gotten this rep of being "creative" and "innovative." It's so totally NOT, and he does the same stuff over and over. Maybe the show used to be, but now it's totally cliche and shallow, and what J.J. is going to do is as easy to see as the big "E" on the eye chart. The PR is all about how "shocking" this big twist coming up is, and if it's only what spoilers indicate, it's so totally not shocking. So far this season, J.J. has taken the easiest, least interesting, most pointless, most contrived, most cliched path pretty much every single time. Genius, my ass.
Seriously, has ANY of the hype for this season panned out? Compelling and mature triangle? Hell no! Loki being a great addition to the show? Hell no! The two-year jump opening up lots of great story avenues? Hell no! Best storyline ever for Dixon? Hell no! Best storyline ever for Vaughn? Hell fucking no!
Kate:
if you think about a lot of the stuff he's using, it's really just pieces of other shows/movies that have already been out. I could make a list of movies where he's gotten almost all of his inspiration. I didn't mind this in the first and second season because he really made his way around that. it was more about THEM than THAT. Now it's more about THAT. If that makes any sense.
Spygirl:
I suppose the love triangle thing was all exciting back in the stone age. You know, life expectancy wasn't the same as it is now and I'm sure the male to female ratio was a little upset and unbalanced at times. ;- ) But, we're no longer Neanderthals so maybe we've just become bored and uncreative human beings? We need to throw ourselves into sleazy Jerry Springer drama in order to feel alive. Which is so sad because this certainly isn't a representation of how I choose to live my life.
Obviously, Alias is fiction so there is room to play. But be creative -- break the mold -- take a risk. If we want asinine behavior, we'll watch Jimmy Ray, Bubba and Twaneesha fight it out on Montel or Ricky Lake.
If JJ hadn't taken this path, he never would have placed himself in the position of cleaning up a major flood of BAD. If, in fact, he sees this past year as a mistake. But like you said, I doubt it very much. The majority of the people who run things in this industry are incredibly young. Some probably just stopped breast feeding a few years ago. They have no clue what truly "creative and innovative" is because they haven't lived long enough to figure it out. Even if this wasn't the case, and I'm sure it really isn't, everyone just seems to "go along" with the status quo. No one wants to rock the boat. Basically, it's their attempt at media brainwashing. If they say it's "creative and innovative" what they're really hoping for is that we believe them. It doesn't matter if they don't believe it -- they just want us to take the bait.
The PR people are using Pavlov's Dog techniques. They don't have to believe what they're saying and hyping. That's not important. They want us to believe it, so they continually pound these key words within their spiel hoping We'll Believe. If they say it enough, it must be true. However, we haven't bought the hook and many have rebelled against the assumption that everything is cool and compelling and innovative -- whatever. But, the execs can't give up the ship so they keep going at it. They can't accept that we're all not falling and fawning over their lack of brilliance or creativity.
Mel TM:
I'm ready for Lulu to be DEAD. Although I honestly don't believe there's any one thing they could do to redeem the show at this point. It's like SB said -- total apathy. During this few-week hiatus, I can honestly say I've given Alias almost zero
thought. Not only is "the big reveal" obvious, but it's hard to create meaningful drama out of a character who bores people silly.
I'm sure JJ will say this was part of some grand design when we all know his grand design consists of coming up with two or three nifty moments and building everything else around them.
What I cannot believe is how the critics are still fawning over the show. I certainly don't need to repeat everything you all have said about how the innovative qualities of Alias have evaporated, but I agree with all of them. And I don't get how certain publications are still praising J.J.'s narrative style, which has become all flash and no real substance. How many of you can tell me what happened in the last episode without giving it real thought? I know I can't. I have no freaking clue.
Granted, it seems like last year around this time, when we were gearing up for Phase One, there were a LOT of articles and a lot of press (justly) praising the show. And yet here I sit one day before this season's big "watershed" episode, and I haven't archived an article in a week. So maybe the apathy's spreading.
I'd like to know how some of the actors who have been royally screwed over feel. I want someone to lure Carl Lumbly away with a better role, because he's like furniture this season. I won't even discuss what's happened to Vaughn. At least he's been onscreen, though, which is more than we can say for some people.
Lugia:
Personally, aside from not caring about the storyline at all, I feel INSULTED. J.J. could NEVER convince me that this is what he had planned all along. It's clear that he's trying to save the show .
My first real warning signal this season was when the huge twist at the beginning of this year was revealed (Syd killing Lazarey), and I felt *completely underwhelmed*. That wasn't like what I'd come to expect from Alias at all.
Really, if he's into stunts, he should use the really over-the-top Jump-the-Shark moments. At least I might get a laugh out of it then, instead of just a yawn. He's not even going down in flames. He's just drowning in a filthy bathtub.
Seriously, why would I want to lend my precious time to a show if I'm being lied to and manipulated? I really didn't feel this was the case in season one. Like Kate mentioned a couple of weeks ago, all comments sounded so spontaneous and honest. If I had merely felt like being sold a product, I wouldn't have been interested at all. I don't think that was a show they put on.
NOW, I agree, everything is rehearsed and JJ's planning what he's putting out there very carefully. Best example are those dreaded MV/MGD shots instead of ANY MV/JG events pics. So definitely, I'm feeling utterly used and betrayed.
You know, as a fan you always run risk of speaking up too soon, too harshly. You run the risk of making a fool of yourself if you put your criticism out there. And I'd think every true fans WANTS to be wrong on some level. They WANT to see that big pay-off that proves them wrong. But when it doesn't come along by a certain time, it's over. Anything after that is just a desperate attempt on the part of the producers to pull something out of their collective, almighty ass to make everything right again. Obviously, that time has come on Alias.
Spygirl:
I remember being absolutely excited to see Phase One and just simply blown away afterward. It was an incredible episode. Everything moved in harmony. In the 43 minutes we got, a good story was told and characters were treated with respect and dignity. I miss that old show called Alias...it had so much potential.
You know, when XF started down the road of the fuck-up years, I would have given anything for Scully or Mulder to wake up and discover it was nothing more than a very bad dream. That's how badly I wanted that show to be redeemed. When it comes to Alias, I just don't care the same way I did with XF.
We got nothing about how any of these characters coped over the past two years, like Dixon with his wife murdered and how the hell did he make Director? Not a damn thing. I'm just repeating all my gripes, which is ridiculous. I'm preaching to the choir. I doubt very much I will ever care about this show again, or even its characters. I'm willing to watch the rest of this season, however, so either I'm insane or I just want some closure to the stupidity.
Lulu's so empty, without foundation and not a damn thing appealing about her at all. Nothing. Nada. Zip. As long as she's on this show there's no hope whatsoever. And believe me, Alias is in the Red Zone with regard to 'hope.'
I honestly believe JJ probably loved his ideas for season three. I honestly believe he thought he was coming up with something cool and creative and thrilling. But I also believe he quickly discovered that all his great ideas were nothing but crap. He didn't get the outcome he anticipated and now he's backtracking and doing a spin with revisionist history. The boys upstairs are telling him his season sucks and leaving damage control to the PR. They're like a conglomerate of the Smoking Man, just clinging to their Plausible Deniability.
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