The New VSR
Surveillance
What's New
Classified Intel
Expositions
Photo Surveillance
Audio Recon
Debriefings
Wiretaps
The Spyline
Overseas Ops
Hall of Fame

Editorials
The Penalty Box
The VSR Report
Fashion Assassin
Tool Of the Week
Action!Vaughn
Run By Monkeys?
Madame V-Ho #5

Just For Fun
Rambaldi's Studio
Cover Stories
Happy Hour
Section Disparate
Agent Profiles
Personnel Files
The Ho List

Miscellaneous
Contact Us
Mission Statement
The Alliance
Link To Our Site
Awards
View Guestbook
Sign Guestbook
Vitriol, Snark and Rants: The New VSR

...Season 3

  Big Ole Disclaimer: This section is in good fun and not to be taken too literally. Just as we poke fun at the editors in the bloopers section, or at various people/entities in the Penalty Box, this section is meant to find fun from the storylines of the show and the words of the actors and TPTB. We enforce a strict policy toward actor-bashing, but some real-life comments these people make are funny enough, weird enough or sometimes rude enough to warrant some snarking. That also holds true for the things that show up onscreen. Our views on things are just that: OUR views. And our method of coping with things we don't like is just that: OUR method. We don't claim to speak for anyone else. If the Sword of Snarking isn't your thing, the Vartan Hos strongly suggest that you bail on this section and go someplace that is more pleasing to your senses. For instance, pictures of Michael Vartan. We hope that everyone else can get a giggle or two out of this section. We do not condone violence of any kind. We do not respond to flames. Flaming us will only result in our laughing at you. A lot.

- Enjoy! The Vartan Hos
The Mel TM Rants
[October 26/November 2, 2003]
When I think of how different this season would have been had they just signed Lena on again, it makes me sad. This preposterous Sloane-as-double-agent thing wouldn't be necessary, because he wouldn't be "the only source" of underground intelligence. Plus, I could buy that Sydney would want to work with her mother, because although she had done terrible things, we never figured out her motivation and we were slowly convinced that she really did love Jack and Sydney. Syd had many reasons for wanting/needing to deal with Irina, and they had such a multifaceted relationship. With Sloane, there's just a seething hatred balanced by some sort of "love" on his part, but their relationship never could be redeemed. This is why it's so wrong to see her taking meetings with him now that she doesn't have to, and to watch her have to deal with him and rely on him and try to rescue him. It makes Syd seem very unrealistic, and Dixon too (although his characterization certainly has plenty of other problems this season--you think all the characters have been replaced by clones and somewhere out there, there's an entire alternate Alias- verse where the characters are behaving consistently?).

So Sloane is working for the Covenant, and yet he's taking meetings with the CIA in the same place he has been taking meetings with the CIA *plus* new meetings in broad daylight? For such a mastermind, he is the suckiest double agent ever. Actually, more likely, the CIA is the suckiest intelligence agency ever for not realizing Sloane's total lack of discretion probably means *the Covenant knows he's a double agent.* Duuuuuuhhhhhh. This makes my brain hurt. The writers must realize we're all asleep and thus not remembering that this show was basically built on the premise of being a secret double agent. Gah.

Also? If I were Carl Lumbly, I'd punch J.J. in the face.


[September 30, 2003]
This is my verbose attempt to make sense of my feelings on Season 3 of "Alias," and why I have great respect for J.J. and his ability to tell a good story while at the same time I'm pulling my hair out over this Ultimate Triangle storyline. Ordinarily the destruction of a storyline like the Vaughn/Sydney relationship that was absolutely central to my enjoyment of a show might cause me to renounce the whole show, but so far I'm very much enjoying the rest of the show, and I really don't think J.J. realized how inflammatory this storyline might be. He's got that Chris Carter tendency to emphasize plot (especially shiny new "won't this be cool" type stories) over characters, regardless of how important the characters and their relationships are. Because I tend to find the characters more compelling than the plot, this drives me crazy as a viewer. But I can't just discount J.J. for this reason, especially since he does take the time to respond to fans' concerns. He realizes that the VSR is important to a lot of people, and I do think he'll resolve it in the end, but he just has this story he thinks is interesting that he wants to tell first. The audience just happens to have seen this story a million times, and no matter what the variation on it, we're not going to respond well. From an objective standpoint, and from where J.J.'s sitting, maybe Vaughn/Lauren/Sydney is a very interesting dynamic and storyline to explore. From an emotional standpoint, for someone who's invested in the original characters, I hate it with every fiber of my being.

As fans, we shouldn't have to "stomach" a show. Waiting for a payoff is one thing--I certainly wasn't "stomaching" "Alias" before Syd and Vaughn got together. Far from it. And I'm totally conflicted about the show now. On the one hand, I can dimly see what J.J. is trying to do, even though I'll never agree with it. On the other hand, when he starts storyline-pimping, I want to clobber him. And I love the show and hate this storyline. I can't throw myself fully into it anymore, but I can't step out either right now.

I can't seem to form a definite opinion on the rampant Vaughn-bashing that's going on all over the message boards. I don't believe J.J. hates the character of Vaughn by any means, but the scene in "The Two" where Sydney excoriates him was obviously put there for a reason. I'll be shocked if there's not some presentation of Vaughn's side in the next episode. But I wonder whether J.J. and Co. anticipated that the reaction would be so violently anti-Vaughn. I don't see some of these people recanting when Vaughn gets a chance to speak. I did read the boards, and I had to swear off doing that again for a while. I honestly couldn't believe it. I get that a viewer's gut reaction might be, "You bastard!" because they're upset, but when you step back, there's a logical side of the story that makes you reconsider that feeling.

I think J.J. badly misjudged his audience's ability to see both the logical and the emotional sides. More than that, he badly misjudged the audience's desire to want to try. This might have been a storyline that would work on secondary characters in whose relationship the audience doesn't have as large an emotional stake. But when you have two characters whose relationship is so engrossing and whose chemistry is so unique, screwing around with it for the sake of story/innovation and nothing more is just a bad move. I appreciate his continual desire to break conventions, but beyond the "two-years-missing" wrinkle, this storyline is nothing more than a good old-fashioned triangle. I think his ambition and desire to prove that he could make this interesting trumped his understanding of his audience big-time.

It's a shame he didn't have the desire to prove that keeping a couple in a long-term relationship could be interesting. Sydney and Vaughn's relationship has so much dramatic potential based on what we already know (the Irina-killing-Vaughn's-father issue certainly hasn't been tied up with a nice neat bow), but I think J.J. is such a good storyteller that he could pull it off. He's extremely talented, but for some reason his innovation urge stops right there and he slams into the old "couples are boring" cliche. It's just painful, like "Come on, man, you were SO close to getting it right!"

So basically I've got nothing to conclude here, because I can't easily reconcile my feelings about the show and the storyline without giving it a little more time and seeing how things work out. But I guess everyone needs to vent now and then. :)


-by Mel TM, Vartan Ho #13


  Back to the New VSR