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2x17 A Dark Turn
What the --?! Did ABC pull Alias at the last second for some show
about the Russian mafia? And by the way, thank you ever so much for playing
into my elevator issues. Where's Keanu when you need him? Ah, there's Sark
pickpocketing DeadRussianGuy -- it is Alias after all! Jack doesn't
like the term "ex-wife" any more than Ross on Friends does. Kendall
actually apologizes. Perhaps he's a Freplica, too. Jack and Irina hatch a
plan. Syd and Vaughn puck. Vaughn shows off his ice moves. He is surprised
by how well Syd handles a stick and wants to know where she learned
that. Syd breaks the foreplay mood with a Mama Hari mention.
Toe-piiiiiiiiiiick! Vaughn skates around the issue. Richard Lewis gets nosy
about Syd and Vaughn's sex life. Well, who can blame the man, really? Jack
thinks he's a walking Irina lie-detector. ::cough::delusional::cough::
Marshall is freaked out by the sight of Irina's shoulder. Agent Nosy wants
Syd to get her hands on Vaughn's laptop. No, the other one. Weiss is
feeling unappreciated. Hey, women in Bangkok have breasts, too. Who knew?
Irina professes a love of games; somehow, I don't think she's referring to
Scattergories. Maybe she likes Clue: "Mama Leopard-Print, in the VIP room,
with a knife." Jack spots the fourth man. Irina thanks Jack for raising
Sydney; he doesn't mention that it was actually nannies. Vaughn is cranky
that he and Syd weren't told about the SpyParents' mission. To cool off, he
takes a shower. Syd powers up his laptop. No, the other one. OK, Syd,
iBooks are definitely sexy, but not as sexy as WetNaked!Vaughn. Priorities,
woman! Willage out-Willages himself by telling Francie all about Syd's
spying. But, psych!, it's just a nightmare. The guys hang around the
kitchen and talk about their dreams while the women go off to work. In Hong
Kong, Jack and Irina steal an advance copy of the next Harry Potter book.
Sydney doesn't like her boyfriend handling envelopes. Vaughn is concerned
about Will, but Syd is too busy cross-examining Vaughn to care. Vaughn
doesn't give keys to people who question his loyalty. Oops, thinks Sydney.
Vaughn goes off to tell Dr. Rapunzel about his crazy girlfriend. Syd goes
off to tell Agent Nosy where he can shove his disk. Also, she says the "L"
word. Wrong guy to reveal that to, Syd. Sydney and Irina share a touching
moment and compare hand sizes. EvilFrancie picks Will's brain but leaves
him a "great sex" mint on his mental pillowcase. Jack and Irina decide that
a nice red wine goes with beef, veal and planning sessions. Irina thinks
they should go to bed. Jack concurs. Bow-chicka-bow-bow. Weiss says, "Hey,
Syd, since you're not being proactive, how 'bout I prod you to save your
boyfriend?" They tease us by putting Vaughn near a pool table again. Syd
resumes her cross-examination. Dial it down a notch, L.A. Law. Vaughn
brings out his File O'Irina. Because one can never be too careful about
one's future mother-in-law. Sark and Irina and a couple of red-shirts go
for a ride. Oops, thinks Jack, maybe I shouldn't have removed that tracking
device after all. The CIA falls for the ole "limo under the bridge"
switcheroo. Irina has an Evil SpyFamily reunion -- and brings along
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Dammit, Kendall says. Now
we'll have to wait until June to find out what's happening at Hogwarts!
-- By Souris, Vartan Ho #4
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