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2x12 The Getaway
If there's one thing more annoying than a ringing cellphone during a movie,
it's somebody gunning people down. So inconsiderate. You shouldn't even do
that during the previews. Unless they're advertising a Tom Green movie;
then it's OK. Actually, I think Jack's contact really died from realizing
he'd just blown 28 bucks on a large popcorn and some peanut M&Ms. Sydney
and Jack play reverse "Get in!" and then go for a leisurely car chase
around the warehouse district. Why are some CIA agents forced to put their
desks in ice cream stands in the Ops Center? Is this some kind of weird
government "Dilbert" cubicle program? Marshall plays Not-So-Secret Santa
and weirds Dixon out by talking about his scent. Bratty!Syd gets cranky
with Vaughn about her dad before Freudian slipping up and kinda sorta
totally spilling that she's really cranky about Alice. Well, who
isn't? Vaughn wants to know what it's all about. Uh, hon, I think she just
told you. Sloane e-mails Jack about the Alliance's Big Brother membership
gift. Jack goes to Irina for some brainstorming. Wink, wink. Vaughn gives
Syd her countermission, and Syd gives him the cold shoulder with a side
order of sass. Wise-cracking Weiss is back, and he's looking for some
sugar! Come right over here. Weiss urges Vaughn to carpe Syd, because, you
know, there's darkness. Dixon annoys people in the airport by collecting
for unfortunate children. Syd gets in touch with her inner New Yawker and
gives some baggage screeners the highlight of their day. She unfortunately
puts her vest back on before meeting up with Vaughn. Vaughn proves his love
for Syd by asking her out to dinner in spite of her outfit and earlier
snarkiness, and makes double entendres about being hungry. Nudge, nudge.
Because Syd is indeed female, she says they should do it. Major word to
that, girlfriend. Yenta!Weiss celebrates. Vaughn speaks French. Many women
swoon. The horns of SpyLurve swell. Dude, M. Rousseau, turn down the music
a smidge, 'K? Sydney and Vaughn decide that wine would help their
oh-so-cute first-date jitters. Sydney learns that Vaughn is always
prepared. Also, he doesn't appreciate Cyrano!Weiss. Hey, ABC, hire
Scariana's goon -- he takes good pictures! Vaughn thinks he and Syd should
play sometime. Well, who doesn't? Hey, cool, M. Rousseau is a shipper. Or
perhaps a perv with a hidden camera in the room upstairs jonesing for some
SpyPorn. Syd and Vaughn discuss his generous offer between heated stares.
Oh, for God's sake, you two, JUST DO IT! Right now! On the table if you
have to! Ahem. Scariana's lackeys are Noromos. Bastards. Action!Vaughn
takes out his frustrations over not getting to go Mountaineer climbing on
them. ["Cell Block Tango"]"They had it coming. They had it coming. They
only had themselves to blame."[/"Cell Block Tango"] Then he and Sydney
don't kiss yet again. I hope Vaughn sent M. Rousseau a nice check for the
unfortunate shot-up-bar incident. Weiss beta-reads Vaughn's SpyFic and is
bummed it's not NC-17. Damn that fanfiction.net. Scariana nabs Jack, but
Sloane comes to the rescue! (And how often can you say that?)
McCullough is happy, because it means another chance to use a scary needle.
Syd and Vaughn agree that they should stay together because they do "good
work." If you know what I mean, and I think you do. Um, Syd, I think you
may have been kicked in the head one too many times -- Vaughn is ALWAYS
worth fantasizing about. Francie springs for a girls' night on the town --
apparently in her own restaurant. Cheapskate. Sloane gets an anti-Big
Brother ring from a techno geek; it turns out to be a bargain, since the
guy agrees to give Sloane $10 million off the price. Emily's not dead! It
was all a Sloane scam! And all it cost them was a finger! Another bargain!
That guy's good. OK, wait. So Sydney and Vaughn go on a date, and Sloane's
the only one who ends up getting some? That is so very wrong.
-- By Souris, Vartan Ho #4
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