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2x03 Cipher
Gallant!Vaughn makes it lady's choice. (I know what I would
choose, and it doesn't have anything to do with Mama Hari.) Irina
leads Syd on a walk down memory lane. Syd and Jack talk turkey.
Sloane gives Sydney Emily's seed box but thankfully keeps his hands
to himself. Unfortunately, the gift also comes with a hearty dose of
unnatural verbiage. There's always a catch. Sydney tells him that
it's not his fault just to watch him squirm. Will is officially
mooching off Syd and Francie now. Ssssh, nobody tell Mr. Roper!
Sloane gets a visit from The Surprise Gardener. Note to guest
characters: Never get into an elevator with Sydney. If Irina is "The
Man," does that now make Sark "The Boy" or just "The Man's Man"?
Sydney goes all Bond with some stock Saturn V footage and tries out
that wacky Nordic sport, the luge. Only it's really the skeleton, but
never mind. Maybe Willage should take in some etiquette classes along
with his Narcotics Anonymous meetings, since he neglects to thank
Vaughn for risking his career and life to save his sorry ass. He must
have been too preoccupied calculating just how miniscule his chances
with Syd are next to her not-so-old but very hunky handler. Dixon
looks cranky about Siberia for no apparent reason. Then again,
wouldn't you be cranky about having to go to Siberia? Sloane
blathers about Emily again. Will undergoes hypnoregression. Hey,
could you insert a couple of post-hypnotic suggestions for me while
you're at it? Thanks much. Sydney makes Vaughn sad. So what else is
new? Syd spills the turkey beans to Irina. Uh-oh, you just WAIT until
your father gets home, young lady! Sloane gets a static-o-gram. Wow,
I didn't realize that the Hoth set was still up. Rudolph's Abominable
Snowman called; he wants his ice caverns back. Jack and Irina
exchange monologues. Irina shows that she's still the Queen of the
Parting Shot. Sydney completes the second and third legs of the Spy
Triathlon: the Olympic Pick-Ax Toss followed by the Subzero
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreaststroke.
-- By Souris, Vartan Ho #4
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