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2x01 The Enemy Walks In
Hey, sounds like Greg Grunberg has a new gig! Apparently we're gonna get to
hear Syd call Vaughn her "guardian angel" every week. Yes, please! There
are some serious mother-daughter issues. Lena Olin is a bad-ass. Syd plays
MacGyver, then gives Dr. Rapunzel an Alias 101, since Dr. Rapunzel was too
busy brushing her hair to watch last season. Syd's very preoccupied with
Vaughn being missing; she'd need to be seeing a shrink if she
wasn't. What happened to Will not asking any more questions? Sydney
gets majorly agitated with Weiss over the search for Vaughn. Where are the
tears, though? She cries over dead buck-toothed assassins and
hangnails. OK, did I accidentally switch over to a Discovery Channel
documentary about brain surgery? Ewwww, head-slicing. Ack! You stay away
from Vaughn, you creepy-ass Vulcan, you! SleepyShirtless!Vaughn is the
personification of sexy. Mmmmm. Syd goes straight to his heart.
Adrenaline!Vaughn is excited about being in France. Alive. With Syd. It's a
good thing they're hidden behind the tree, because their smiles are about
300-watt. They'regonnakiss, they'regonnakiss, they'regonnakiss -- dammit,
no they're not. I don't know why my tape is getting fuzzy at that
part. Syd acts out some Shakespeare to Dr. Rapunzel about her relationship
with Vaughn; that would be "methinks the lady doth protest too much." Yep,
Syd, you're busted. You're the big "E" on her "improper handler-agent
relationship" eye chart. SpyDaddy becomes SpyPusher. Will gets some heroin.
He just better not ever get him some heroine. If you know what I
mean. Sloane is again with the creepy touching and water-drinking. (OT:
White Oleander has got to be the blondest movie ever.) Vaughn
tells Syd how much he likes screw ... drivers. Jack and company have very
bad timing. Vaughn didn't lose his balls of steel in Taipei and flirts with
Syd on an open mic. Is that like spy phone sex? Oh, dear, Weiss, that
doesn't look too good. Um, Syd? I believe it's customary in a eulogy to
talk about the deceased more than yourself.
-- By Souris, Vartan Ho #4
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