By: Kate

(To the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer")

Lulu got run over by a Vartan Ho
Walking back to Vaughn's house Christmas Eve
You may say there's no such thing as a Vartan Ho,
but as for me and Sydney, we believe.

She may look down on us "mall people"
Class and intelligence we *must* lack,
(Well...) when I drove over her I left tread marks
of Sears and JC Penny on her back.

Lulu got run over by a Vartan Ho
Walking back to Vaughn's house Christmas Eve
You may say there's no such thing as a Vartan Ho,
but as for me and Sydney, we believe.

Now we're so proud of Vaughn and Sydney
They've been taking this all in stride
But what Sydney hasn't told Vaughn
Is she was right there with me on the passenger side!

We just didn't want a Christmas with the Lupe
We wanted to stare at the tree in peace
Its wiry needles scattered on the floor
Would have matched the eyebrows on the COW perfectly. : (

Lulu got run over by a Vartan Ho
Walking back to Vaughn's house Christmas Eve
You may say there's no such thing as a Vartan Ho,
but as for me and Sydney, we believe.

Now Sydney holds her head down in shame
But Vaughn tells her not to feel guilty
"Between her bony-ass and those eyebrows,
I would have done it myself eventually..."

Now we've been warning J. J. Abrams
Next on our hit list is that guy
They should never give a license
To a really pissed off Vartan Ho and a spy.

Lulu got run over by a Vartan Ho
Walking back to Vaughn's house Christmas Eve
You may say there's no such thing as a Vartan Ho,
but as for me and Sydney, we believe.

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