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The Fashion Assassin
Target: A Dark Turn
This episode brought to you by: Secret anti-perspirant
Strong enough for a spy. Made for a woman. Whose boyfriend isn't telling
her everything.
That poor Russian child. Clearly, he (Or is it a she? There's too much
outerwear.) is being forced to wear a hat that his grandmother crafted out
of an old stuffed animal, possibly a sheep. Ah, well, maybe it will grow up
to be one of those big furry hats someday. Even hats have dreams and
aspirations.
OK, what is the deal with Syd's striped sweaters? Did Laura Goldsmith get a
good deal on them in bulk at Stripes 'R' Us?
I hope I look half as smoking hot as Lena Olin does when I'm her age. She
really knows how to work a tight leopard-print dress. I love her necklace.
I'd totally buy that. Not so much the dog-collar armband, though. I think
that lipstick is possibly the reddest red I've ever seen.
Aaaaaaaaand we're back with "demure" Irina (or at least as demure as Mama
Hari gets) on the plane. No lipstick, ponytail and a nice taupey gray
sweater. I bet she still has naughty lingerie on though. Because you know
she totally would.
Francie even wears red in other people's dreams.
Clearly Vaughn brought a change of clothes to stay at Syd's Bed &
Breakfast. He's wearing one of his many blue oxfords; the night before, he
had on a white dress shirt with his suit. It's a shame, though, that he
doesn't have the sleeves rolled up. Because Vaughn + blue oxford +
rolled-up sleeves = I'm too sexy for my cereal. Who says rolled-up sleeves
aren't for the morning?
Oh, isn't Irina so cute in her little beige U.N. uniform? It's a little
British colonial, though. Which I suppose was the point since they're in
Hong Kong. Unfortunately, Jack's vest makes him look as if he should be
sitting on a sofa wearing slippers and smoking a pipe. That's not right.
What's up with that?
They must have turned on the A/C in Irina's cell, because she's wearing a
jacket over her usual black tank top. Guess they were trying to cool down
the hot mama.
As a general rule, I'm not in favor of denim jackets. They give me bad '80s
flashbacks. But again Vaughn proves that he can wear pretty much anything
and I'll think it's hot.
Irina picks such sexy outfits for her field trips. Well, I guess if you
don't get out often, you go for maximum impact. The brown jacket-style
shirt with upturned collar and jeans is a stylish yet functional
combination. It says, "I'm here to work, but there's no point in looking
like I haven't seen a mall in months."
I think Sark has been to Will's first-season barber. He really needs to
comb his hair. Maybe that's where all Will's extra hair went.
Sexy black jacket and shirt on Jack. Much better than the unfortunate vest.
Wig count: 0 blonde, 0 brunette, 0 redhead
--By Souris, Vartan Ho #4
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