|
The Fashion Assassin
Target: A Higer Echelon
This episode brought to you by: Frederick's of Espionage
Providing titillating undergarments for double agents seeking higher
ratings all over primetime.
Apparently Will has been rooting around in the "red" section of Francie's
closet. Poor boy can't even afford his own T-shirts anymore.
You know the only reason that Francie isn't wearing red in the
"crush" talk is because of the red background wall. She's invisible enough
in the scripts as it is, so she doesn't need wardrobe help in fading into
the woodwork. And yet, the poor woman is still overshadowed by a
particularly distracting flower. I feel your desire to be noticed, Francie.
But, girlfriend, STEP AWAY from the Tammy Faye Bakker My First Makeup Kit.
Blue is a great color -- but not in eye shadow. Although I suppose
we should be grateful the eye shadow isn't red.
I doubt all the men would've conked out during Sydney's presentation
without the Strobe Light of Snoring. She's looking way too sexy (in a
professional way) with her Nina Bails getup and spiky bun.
Some things you can always count on: death, taxes, always ending up in the
slowest checkout line at the supermarket and Sloane's striped shirts with
the white collars.
Note to the director: You know we love closeup shots of Vaughn's baby
greens. But when he's wearing something besides a suit (such as the sporty
jacket!), please throw in a midrange or full-body shot or two.
Please. Don't be such a Casual!Vaughn tease!
Ah, Francie's back in red. And apparently the blue eye shadow doesn't wash
off for a couple of days. Well, with that color, what do you expect? I
think she might need an eyelid facial peel and some paint stripper.
I wonder if the heart on Scariana's (tm Mush) pendant is a bronzed memento
of the mole from SD-9 that she caught? Or perhaps it's hers that she had
surgically removed. Because she doesn't strike me as an
angel-pin-and-heart-necklace type of gal. In any case, I hope it gets
caught in a thresher and pulls her in.
Poor Dixon always gets the worst wigs when he actually gets to join
in the dress-up fun. I suspect they are all made from household cleaning
supplies.
Don't be fooled by the frocks that she's got. She's still, she's still
Sydney from the block. J.Syd does not have good luck with jumpsuits.
Remember the blue "Q&A" monstrosity? (You just did? I'm sorry for reviving
that image for you.) This one is only slightly better. Albeit much
sluttier-looking.
And speaking of slutty-looking -- hello, red thong! Somehow, that does not
strike me as the proper choice of undergarments for ass-kicking. Although,
as my friend Tom says, when you start the day with a string up your butt,
it can only get better.
I expect to see parachute jackets in the next A Sharper Image catalog.
Wig count: 0 blonde, 1 brunette, 0 redhead.
--By Souris, Vartan Ho #4
|
|
|
