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The Fashion Assassin
Target: A Broken Heart
This episode brought to you by: The Santa Monica Pier.
The place where all good 'ships launch. Nobody will notice you holding
hands with that sexy man standing three feet away from you. You know, the
one you're carrying on the nonconversation with. Plus we have a ferris
wheel.
Syd looks very sleek and sexy searching for the Golden Sun in Spain.
Definite Miss Parker vibes. Hmm, chickfight in leather. Nothing prurient
there.
Cute spyhat, Francie. You mug a flapper?
Syd owns more tanks than the U.S. Army.
That purse had better have a transmitter in it, because it's
way too FUGLY to carry without a damn good reason. Oy, seashells. My
eyes hurt. Kate Spade, Marshall is not.
I bet Scully didn't even miss that beige suit that Sydney stole out of her
closet. Where's Syd's friend's red shirt, though? He clearly needed to be
wearing one.
So, during those long plane rides, Syd apparently knits hair kerchiefs. She
looks adorable in her little Bohemian shopping outfit. But why does poor
Dixon have to wear a freaking suit in Morocco? It's hot in Morocco!
He's only monitoring the conversation -- you'd think they'd let him wear
khakis and a nice knit shirt. Damn that SD-6 dress code. At least take your
jacket off, dude!
Nice, tight "look what you ain't gonna be getting anymore" dress Francie's
wearing for her meeting with Charlie. Her hair and makeup look
really good at the restaurant. Think she took extra care with her
appearance to rub it in Charlie's face? Yeah, me, too. Hey, I'm a girl.
Oh. My. God. Will's hair. Has he been covering a hurricane? Are there small
animals living in it? That is the most distracting hair I have seen since
the '80s. Put him next to a punker with a mohawk and one of Michael
Jackson's backup singers from the "Thriller" tour, and I'm pretty sure I
would be most traumatized by Will's hair.
Distracting Hairstyle Moment #2: That woman in Sao Paolo has a large canary
on her head.
Dixon looks fine in that tux. Can we have Tuxedo!Vaughn now, please?
Syd gets in some early practice for her midseason Vegas outfit. Those are
some seriously GOLD pants. She looks a bit like an Oscar statuette. On the
plus side, if she were stranded on a desert island, she could signal
passing ships with her shirt. And did she bathe in a tub of bronzer?
It's a good thing that Syd carries a tiny telescope in her bra. What else
is Vaughn gonna be surprised by finding in there one day? A Xerox machine?
And, OK, who else was expecting her to drop the spyglass onto the operating
table a la the Junior Mints incident on "Seinfeld"?
Wig count: 0 blonde, 0 brunette, 1 redhead Pippi Longstocking
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