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The Fashion Assassin
Target: So It Begins
This episode brought to you by: Rubbermaid. It's not just for storage
containers anymore.
Syd's stealing something -- you can tell because she's dressed in an
all-black outfit with black gloves. And isn't it convenient how she always
has exactly the spy-gadget she needs to escape from her pursuers?
Mark it down -- we have our first Vaughn shoulder-holster appearance!
I know it's hot and all, but, Syd, if you're going to be meeting with
creepy, crazy Middle Eastern arms dealers, you might want to fasten another
couple of the buttons on your blouse. Unless that's part of your bargaining
position.
Tight red T-shirts are always an inspired choice for first private meetings
with sexy handlers. They're casual, they say "I'm a firebrand!" and yet
still get across the "Hey! Look at my breasts!" message.
These people dress WAY too cute for moving. Where's the old T-shirt with
the holes? Where are the frayed shorts? Where are the dust bunnies the size
of kittens in their hair? Although Will does have the traumatically sloppy
"woke up early and forgot to comb his hair" look. But I really don't think
that has anything to do with Sydney moving.
Marshall, did you borrow that shirt from Rob on "My Three Sons"? And I
don't even want to TALK about that brown jacket.
Even though they're in Moscow, Syd forgoes the usual Big Furry Hat to dress
up as Svetlana the Aryan librarian maid. Dixon goes for the traditional
traveling outfit of the little-known Dijon Mustard Tribe of Central Africa.
What is there to say about the blue rubber dress except, "Yowza!" Jennifer
Garner must have a body-fat percentage of, like, two.
Aw, Vaughn looks so cute in his little uniform! How come our
janitors at work never look like Michael Vartan? Hell, they don't even look
like Michael Milken.
Has anyone put their short-haired, customer-hating friend's picture on a
milk carton yet?
Syd, pashminas are so 2000.
It's a good thing that Syd wore her digging clothes to Virginia! It's also
a good thing that the cemetary had extremely inattentive groundskeepers.
It's Burka!Syd! Meanwhile, all the male viewers are screaming, "No! Bring
back the blue dress!"
I have got to get me one of those nifty spy-gadget day-planners. Do
you think they have them at A Sharper Image?
Wig count: 1 blonde, 0 brunette, 0 redhead
--By Souris, Vartan Ho #4
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