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The Fashion Assassin
Target: Truth Be Told
This episode brought to you by: Super Spy Hair Color, Shade No. 47: Bozo Red
It doesn't run when you're being dunked underwater by your enemies, but it
rinses out immediately when your mission is over, with no pesky lasting
discoloration!
OK, so the shocking red hair, tight black shirt and pants is a total ripoff
of (excuse me, homage to) "Run Lola Run." But it's still way cool
and gave the show its most lasting image.
Fashion Assassin doesn't get sleeveless turtlenecks. Is it hot? Is it cold?
Make up your freaking mind!
Syd's wearing black at SD-6 even before she finds out they're evil.
Call it a sartorial instinct.
Did Sydney attend Sunnydale U. for undergrad? 'Cuz I think Freshman!Syd
borrowed that striped sweater from Willow Rosenberg. (I mean, back when she
was all cute and geeky, before she got hooked on MagicIsDrugs and went all
Veiny Goth).
Syd looks simply marvelous at the party in Taipei. The red dress
looks fab on her, her makeup is stellar (the lipstick matches the dress
perfectly!), and her hair has just the right amount of flip and bounce.
Fashion Assassin wishes she could look that good when she goes to parties
in Taipei.
Yegads, another sleeveless turtleneck! OK, I've figured out their purpose:
showing off one's killer biceps!
Red is SUCH an inconvenient color to be wearing when you're being stalked
by an assassin in a parking garage. You know Syd was cursing her wardrobe
choice that morning. (BTW, Jack driving backward full speed while firing a
gun? Totally hot.)
Boy, Syd's really lucky that Amy has such a distinctive and distracting
hair color. Clearly, the Tippin family has serious hair issues. And that
funky Amy-outfit? It totally "pops"! (But can ticket-counter agents afford
to be that snooty about lipstick, really?)
Is that a long black coat I see Syd wearing briefly in Taipei? Ah, yet
another echo that crops up in "Almost Thirty Years." You know I love your
outfits, Syd, but I have to say, it looks better on Vaughn. ;-)
She really should have stuffed her Bozo hair completely underneath her
toboggan -- but of course that wouldn't have been nearly as attractive, now
would it?
Dammit, Vaughn should have been wearing a blue oxford in our first view of him.
You know, they really could have put some dates on poor Danny's headstone.
Wig count: 0 blonde, 0 brunette, 0 redhead, 1 Bozo-red dye job
--By Souris, Vartan Ho #4
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