Full Disclosure

Episode Number: 3.11

Original Air Date: January 11, 2004

Written By: Jesse Alexander

Last year on Alias: Vaughn's still in love with Sydney. That's all you need to know.

Milo Rambaldi's sperm are floating around in a jar and everyone's trying to get their hands on it. Scully's frustrated because she doesn't know what happened to her when she was abducted [Scully is frustrated because she doesn't know what happened to her while she was abducted.©  X-Files; "Paper Clip" 1995].

By-the-way, Hugh Hefner called and he wants his robe back.

Scully gets a tranquilizer dart in the back. She wakes up on a plane where Skinner explains everything that happened to her in the two years that she was missing. She was kidnapped from her house after the fight with Duane Barry [Scully has a knockdown, drag-out fight with Duane Barry and then is abducted by men from the government ©  X-Files; "Ascension" 1994].

She was horribly tortured and brainwashed... or they tried to brainwash her. Turns out Scully can't be brainwashed because she's been preprogrammed by her father when she was in the Christmas project as a child.

So Skinner tells her that in order to stop the torture, she had to pretend the brainwashing was working. She had to kill a man. Once she proved her worth she became a hired assassin for the Covenant. She then escaped from them and contacted Skinner. Skinner then had her become a double agent, once again. He helps to facilitate the lie that Scully is dead in order for to her gain access to the Covenant and to keep her friends and family safe [Scully helps Mulder fake his own death in order for him to go undetected through the DoD and find out the answers to his questions about the government ©  X-Files; "Redux II" 1997]. She refused at first, going straight to Vaughn only to see him making out with Landfill.

So Scully becomes a double agent, reporting back on the Covenant and working with the Well-Manicured Man in order to find Rambaldi's spermies. They find them in a cave. Cause, you know, that's the best place to keep your spermies.

Scully finds out that the Covenant wants her because she's the "Chosen One" in the prophecy [©  'The Chosen One Prophecy'; Star Wars, 1977].

She will "bring forth" Rambaldi's work by way of a child made from him. She was operated on when she was first brought to the Covenant and her eggs were harvested [Scully's ova are harvested to create an uberbaby ©  X-Files; "Emily" 1997].

Once she finds out what they plan to do with her sperm, she decides to destroy it and get her memory erased. She doesn't want to remember everything she's been through [Jason Bourne is a CIA spy who wants to forget what he has been doing, but wakes up without any memory of what's happened to him. He then goes on to tirelessly search for answers.©  The Bourne Identity; 1988/2002]. I wish I had one of those memory eraser machines right about now myself. Of course, instead of destroying the spermies, she puts them in a safe-deposit box in a hotel. Cause, you know, that's the smart thing to do.

So the Covenant now has the spermies and is planning making babies later that night. The team assembles to stop it. Kersh tells Scully that he knew the whole time and couldn't tell her on Skinner's orders. She forgives him.

They bust into the joint and Cigarette Smoking Man is overseeing the operation. They have a shoot out. Of course the bad guys shoot at the floor instead of at the Team.

CSM takes off, no doubt with a vile of Scully's eggs. I'm sure we'll be seeing LabRat pregnant in no time with the uberbaby, claiming that it's Mulder's, in turn making Mulder feel obligated to stay with her. And to think, a rerun of "Full House" was on and we watched this instead.

So Scully destroys what's left of her ova and the spermies. Of course she walks away before it's confirmed that it's all gone. They rescue the Well-Manicured man from the Cigarette Smoking Man and bring him to a hospital. A sniper kills him before he can give any more information to Scully [A sniper-shoots Deep Throat before he can expose any information to Mulder and Scully©  X-Files; "The Erlenmeyer Flask" May 1994] .

Quickly putting away the gun, we see that Fowley is the gunner. The Cigarette Smoking Man is her contact. She walks away.

The ep was good only because of the fantastic acting by Terry Quinn and JG. PLEASE keep Terry Quinn on the show J. J., I beg you. He's worth whatever he's getting paid, which I'm positive is not enough. He managed to make a played-out storyline very interesting to watch being told.

That being said, I'm sure I'm not the only one that was completely underwhelmed by the big 'surprise'. Especially considering that, you know, the plot has already been seen on another show or other movies. The episode should have been titled, "Lawsuits and Copyright Infringement." But fantastic acting all around. And seeing that Lulu is evil makes me happy. Good step J. J.! Now just don't go and do something stupid, like keeping Vaughn with her for some dumb reason, or having her become pregnant. Have Vaughn find out! Have he and Sydney going for revenge! Get them on kick-ass missions together is search of Lauren and the Covenant's leader and use this to get them back together. No more teasing us, for Christ-on-a-Cracker's sake! You have the ability to turn this all around now! Don't do anything stupid! Can I get an amen??!!

Note: If you didn't get any of the Mulder and Scully references, just e-mail J.J. Abrams et al. Since it looks like he's lowered himself to stealing the plots of the X-Files and other tv shows/films (not even the good ones... if you're going to rip-off another show at least steal the good stuff), I'm sure he'll be able to tell you all about them.