Conscious

Episode Number: 3.09

Original Air Date: Nov. 30, 2003

Written By: Josh Appelbaum & Andre Nemec

Last week on Alias: Vaughn's still in love with Sydney. That's all you need to know.

First off, I have to say the ep was pretty great! Lots of good references to seasons one and two! But I do feel like the ep should have come with one of those Public Service Announcements at the end about doing drugs. The whole hour just screamed, "Just Say No!"

The motley crew is having a powwow about the fact they're now all fugitives. They've decided on a plan to blame the Covenant for Syd's breakout. Lauren will tell Assmole that she was abducted by the Covenant and left alive to send the CIA a message. Syd joins them at the table and thanks them for breaking her out.

"I'm an idiot." Lupe says. Praise Jesus, finally she admits it! It's nice to hear she has a firm grasp on the facts.

They figure out the real coordinates of the codes Syd got from Sloane. It's in the middle of a valley. Meanwhile, Assmole sent men to check out the fake coordinates Syd fed him last week. It's a package store. Hehehee. Sucker! "Check it again!" And this time, bring me back some rolling papers cause I'm gonna need them for the rest of this episode.

Jack looks like the fisherman from Hell. I would not go fishing with him. They find a box buried with a severed hand in it, tattooed with the sign of Rambaldi. Ewww. They send it off to be examined by Marshall.

Poor Dixon. He finally gets a few lines only to be arrested on the Assmole's orders. His kids, Robin and Steven, look on. Yeah, you know, cause they haven't been traumatized enough what with their mother being blown up and all. These kids are going to need serious therapy.

Jack is suddenly all warm and cozy toward Sloane, who refuses to give up the orange-tinged sunglasses. But I have to say, plotlines are looking up!! In order for Lassie's story to be convincing, they're gonna have to rough her up. Hell. Yeah. Everyone is like, 'I'll do it!' 'No, no. I'll do it.'

Just then, a Vartan Ho walks into the room and punches Lupe's ass straight out. Oh, wait. Sorry. That must have been my dream sequence. There are so many in this ep it's hard to keep a track. Anyway, Lulu tells Syd she can do it.

They walk into a room and without skipping a beat, Sydney punches her straight in the mouth. HAHAHAHAhahahahaha. God damn this episode rocks. "That's for turning me in [...]," says Sydney. Damn right. And for sleeping with her boyfriend, and for the buckteeth, and the bad accents, and the bad plotlines, and the underwear scene (God damn that scene sucked!), and for copying Syd's hairstyles. Dammit. In the next scene, we see her all busted up (we were robbed of seeing her get beaten up by Sydney. So unfair I tell you) in Assmole's office. She explains her cover story and tells him the Covenant wants the Rambaldi device in exchange for Sydney.

Sloane recommends a doctor that can help Sydney with her memories. WTF??? Since when are we trusting Sloane? Are you people insane? Oh, you just deserve to get killed now. Dumbasses. OMG! Jack and Vaughn are kidding on the plane. And Jack actually oils up his mouth and smiles a bit!!!! This ep is great; it has all of my favorite things.

"There are some beautiful people here!" Trippy says. Trippy is a far-out happenin' chick living with Doctor Pothead. There are some SERIOUS drugs floating around this house, that's all I'm saying. Jack looks completely horrified throughout the entire scene. It's just so funny. Like he wants to shoot himself in the face rather than look at Trippy. Doctor Pothead starts talking about his work and I half expected him to start passing around a joint. Hahhaahaa. Sorry, I just got a vision in my mind of Jack taking a hit and passing it to Vaughn. Good lord. Anyway, Syd begins the treatment.

She wakes up in my dream. I say it's my dream because there's no way it's real...they took it out of my head. Vaughn isn't married, the last 8 episode have all been Sydney's hallucination while unconscious in her apartment. You know, what should have happened. The writer's like to kick us with this stuff to remind us that Syd and Vaughn aren't together anymore. Cause, you know, we had no idea.

Suddenly it's my nightmare cause Vaughn turns into Sloane. Okay, try to keep up with me here...this dream sequence is gonna be hard to recap. Syd's dreams start changing really fast. First she's being taken in the ambulance by someone who looks like her. Then she flashes to herself looking fantastic in a red wig and black leather top in her apartment. She's watching guys lift her up and take her (one of the guys had a build similar to Jack's). Then she's about 7 years old at her birthday party with Jack. She cuts into a cake with "St. Aidan" written on top. She goes back and forth between being 7 and being her own age.

Then she's in a facility, all dressed in white and looking great. She follows the hooded men who have taken her to room 47. As she runs there are some strange and trippy images on the walls that I'm sure will mean something eventually. There are all kinds of hidden Rambaldi clues throughout the episode. You'll have to go back and watch.

Then she sees Lupe looking all sorts of evil. Syd follows her and they fight. "You're a part of this!" Syd screams. We know this is a dream because Lulu is tossing Syd around when, in real life, she couldn't lift a pencil without hurting herself.

Uh oh! Doctor Pothead is monitoring Syd throughout her dream and she begins to flatline. When Syd wakes up, she still believes she's dreaming and kisses Vaughn, who was sitting at her bedside. They kiss passionately and Vaughn isn't too gung-ho to let her go. God those two have so much chemistry. They'd make a good couple don't you think? ; )

When she realizes she's not still dreaming she's completely embarrassed. Vaughn tells her it's okay. Yeah, I bet it's okay. Jack comes in to check on her and leaves Syd and Vaughn alone together again.

Sloane meets with Assmole. Assmole wants Sydney dead. Abrams writing ethic: When originality runs low, use lame old plot devices. Visions of season 2 dance through my mind as Assmole hands Sloane a piece of paper proving that he knows Sloane's end game and he'd better cooperate.

Meanwhile, back with the plots we don't care about, Loony finds out the severed hand belonged to Lazeray. And it was cut off only a few months ago which means Sydney couldn't have killed him.

Sydney goes under again. She's in a pimp-mobile with Dixon. The car is called a St. Aidan (I'm thinking maybe it's Aidan Street? Hmm. I wonder what the St. Aidan is going to end up being?). They drive into Weiss' living room while he and Marshall are playing cards with the Rambaldi clock from season 1 (nice touch) sitting on the table. The whole thing has a fifties feel to it. The clothes, the hair, the car type... hmmm. She gets back to room 47 along with the severed hand in a box. She opens the door. she looks horrified.

"Oh my God..."

You'll have to watch this ep again to find all of the Rambaldi clues scattered throughout. PS- whose voice was that when Sydney was fighting herself? It sounded familiar? Anyway, the ep was actually really good and that lack of COW was a great plus. And when she was around she was getting the smackdown! More of that please!