Breaking Point

Episode Number: 3.08

Original Air Date: Nov. 23, 2003

Written By: Breen Frazier

Last week's ep: Vaughn is still in love with Sydney. That's all you need to know.

I'm calling to order this week's meeting of MOO - Mad Overboard-Accent Organization - by recognizing this week's African accent made by Lulu. Let us add that to the running tally of accents she's tried on. If she can't find an accent, can we at least buy her one? I need a freakin decoder ring to try and understand what the hell she's saying.

Has the potato sack over the head ever kept a prisoner from knowing where they are? I don't understand this concept. But Syd certainly looks evil wearing it.

Assmole's back and he's got his bestest friend Lassie fetching for him. What's that girl? Timmy's stuck in the well? Oh, you're going with Assmole to do a report on Sydney's treatment while being interrogated? I see. Jack and Assmole share a slow motion scene where I wasn't sure if Jack was going to go running over to kiss him, or if he was going to shoot him in the face. The music threw me off for a moment, and so did that hot Jack-strut thing he was doing. Hot damn it's nice to have the old Jack back. And non-brainwashed Vaughn is back too... how nice to see our boys working together once again.

Pruitt Taylor Vince and his funky eyes are both creepy and sweet. Last time I saw him he was giving Scully a lobotomy on X-Files, so I can't really feel too sorry for him.

Vaughn and Jack meet with our newest Vartan Ho, Sloane, to get help in breaking Sydney out. I'd have more respect for him and take him more seriously as an evil genius if he'd loose the orange specs. Seriously man, let it go. Sloane reminds Jack that they are working together...just as he'd predicted before Season 3.

Assmole feeds Li'l Bow Wow some lies that any mentally incapacitated 5 year-old would see through. But not our little Lupe-the-Brilliant! Syd is being tortured... I mean interrogated... for info on orders of the Assmole. Evil!Doctor is soooo going to die by the end of this ep. I can already see it...

While we're at commercial break, I'd like to take this time to throw out a random "I Hate Lupe". That is all. Moving along.

Lhasa Apso over there is starting to suspect that things may not be on the up-an-up with Sydney's interrogation. Aw, gee, did the cattle prod up Syd's ass give it away for ya? Genius, I tell you. She just stands there and watches it happen. God damn she sucks.

Shut. My. Mouth-- it's Shaft! Richard Roundtree still looks good, dammit. Jack, Vaughn and Shaft are working together to help get Syd out. Hell yeah! Richard Roundtree, Victor Garber and Michael Vartan all in the same episode... If Kyan from Queer Eye had gone walking through the park just then, my head would have just exploded. They play chess and get Shaft to help them out.

Le Moron begins typing her report, but seems confused. "I, Lauren Reed"...hmm. What should I put here? Do I suck? Do I blow? Do I both suck and blow? Questions, questions. She's torn from her reverie by guards going after Syd with blowtorches. Yep, something could be amiss. Instead of helping, she stands and watches. Yes, I believe both suck and blow would be the correct answer you were looking for. And, by-the-way, stop copying Syd's hairstyles. You aren't Syd. You're never going to be Syd. Trying to look like her won't fool your husband.

Side-bar: Vaughn in a pullover...yummy. I'm loving the fun 70s style music behind our Charlie's Angels mission. The boys work their magic in getting into the building. Sloane earns his Vartan Ho status yet again by taunting Vaughn about Luka.

Oh yeah, Jack is getting some spec's on the building Syd is being held in so that they can break her out. Jack is made and Sloane gets shot in the process of escaping. Noo! Let me get this straight...everyone on this show has been shot except Lupe??? Just wrong, man. Just wrong.

The Charlie's Angels do some quickie surgery on Sloane to remove the bullet. So Jack's a doctor now? Suspension of disbelief aside, he looks like Father Time in those spectacles. "You're starting to like me again," Vaughn tells Jack. Jack non-smiles, confirming that he does love Vaughn. He'll be his son-in-law as soon as the divorce is final, so of course he loves him.

He tells Vaughn to have Marshall hack into Camp Williams- where Syd is being held - to get access codes to the building. But he can't do it. His Kung Fu is not strong.

Lupe suddenly realizes, after seeing Syd get thrown into metal bars, that something is definitely wrong with the interrogation. She goes to Vaughn and tells him she wants to help. Vaughn looks at her and says, "I'm sorry... who are you again? Excuse me, I have to go rescue the love of my life."

Assmole is prepping Syd for neurostimulation after revealing Syd's cellmate to be a plant to get her to reveal codes only she would know.

Pruitt Taylor Vince is God. Yet another honorary Vartan Ho. Knocked her Anorexic Barbie-ass straight out. Hahahahahaa. They break Syd out while Sloane stands by.

On the Helicopter of Awkwardness, Syd reveals that she gave Assmole the wrong codes. She's not an idiot. While Syd simply breathes and hugs Jack calmly, Lupe is in complete shock. Vaughn looks at everyone like, "Will someone please switch seats with me?"