June 2003

It Undercover Lover

Michael Vartan

Age 34

Why Him? Vartan's studly yet sensitive portrayal of agent Michael Vaughn on ABC's wham-bam-glam spy drama ''Alias'' has viewers fantasizing about having him as their personal ''handler.'' The French-born actor is even man enough to admit that he had no frickin' clue what happened on the show's complicated finale. ''I was like, Oh, my God, what the hell is going on NOW? They're chasing WHO to get WHAT?''

If He Weren't Acting, He'd Be...: ''It would definitely have to be something that doesn't require a diploma, because I don't have one.''

Worst Job: Vartan would rather undergo teeth-pulling torture than cough up the movie responsible for ''the worst experience I've ever had.'' (His big-screen résumé includes ''The Pallbearer,'' ''Never Been Kissed,'' and a direct-to-video romance called ''It Had to Be You.'') But he adds: ''The finished product was probably the worst movie ever made by any human being.''

Why He Might Want to Invest in a Mr. Coffee: When dealing with fans, Vartan says, ''There are times when it gets a little out of control, like if you're at Starbucks and there's a group of 15-year-old girls. [There's] pictures and autographs and a lot of loud giggling. It's fine, but before you've had your coffee at 8 o'clock in the morning -- oh, boy.''

Next: During his ''Alias'' hiatus Vartan hopes to squeeze in a lot of pickup hockey and guitar playing (he writes his own songs). He also plans to find a new house, a new car, and a dog -- either ''a mutt with floppy ears'' or a Labrador.

© Entertainment Weekly 2003

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